


I'm a mess (without you)

by zhangsyixing



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, i missed them so much so here we are, this is just yixing being a mess and in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 04:17:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14127882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhangsyixing/pseuds/zhangsyixing
Summary: Yixing never does anything on a whim, until today. Things don't quite go according to plan.





	I'm a mess (without you)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, oh wow it's been so long since I've posted anything and I'm so sorry. I wrote this in like two days, and it's so short so I'm sorry! I'm not even sure if this is good or not, but I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> This is based off my tweet/aria's tweet too because she's the one who started it technically which you can find [here](https://twitter.com/tinyIeader/status/978485460673712129)

Yixing has always prided himself in being rational and reasonable. There has never been a day where he’s done something on a whim, not that his job allows him to anyway. But, even as a child, he’s always stuck to practicality rather than gut feelings and impulses. If he’s honest, he likes living his life this way. Nothing ever happens that he doesn’t expect, or at least nothing too outlandish. His life is simple and easy, and he likes it that way.

The most unexpected thing that has ever happened to him was having to be stuck in China away from his boyfriend of ten years for months on end for his work. That was something that came out of the blue and disturbed their routine of waking up together in the same bed and sharing their days with each other before they fall asleep. Yixing has called Ulsan his home for the last twenty years of his life and shared the last ten of those with his Baekhyun. His loud and impulsive and boisterous Baekhyun who he’d never trade for anything in the world.

Yixing thinks that he and Baekhyun balance each other out quite well, where Yixing is quiet and reserved, Baekhyun isn’t afraid to speak up and laugh far too loudly in public. When Baekhyun isn’t thinking about negative consequences of being irrational, Yixing is always there to remind him that maybe not this time, but next time might be better. It’s never a perfect balance, because nothing can ever be perfect of course. Sometimes Baekhyun is too into flying by the seat of his pants, and sometimes Yixing is too much of a stubborn homebody.

Baekhyun was never unexpected, he was never meant to be a fling or a relationship in defiance of Yixing’s own wants or his parent’s. Yixing truly believes that Baekhyun was always meant to be here, with him, forever. Baekhyun stole Yixing’s heart and Yixing was willing. All his bright smiles and even brighter hair colors, nothing could ever convince Yixing that Baekhyun wasn’t meant to be part of his future.

The bouquet of flowers in Yixing’s hand were bought on a whim, though. The bustle of the airport around him is an unplanned part of his lunch break today. (His overly long lunch break is unplanned too.) The nervous energy in his stomach, though, he always feels that when he’s about to see Baekhyun. He’s always anxious to be able to see him and touch him again. The honeymoon phase never wore off.

Yixing inhales deeply, the weight of the box in his jacket pocket nearly weighing him down through the floor. (That was bought years ago, planned thoroughly and with the perfect picture of how a proposal was supposed to go.) The earthy but sweet smell of the flowers fill Yixing’s head, he’d almost forgot that he was holding flowers at all. They’re purple and yellow and white and everything that reminds him of Baekhyun.

Baekhyun bought a plane ticket out of the blue two days ago and told Yixing over text that he’d be coming to see him. Two days ago, he was following his schedule like normal, he was prepared for Baekhyun’s surprise visit. Today, though, today he is a mess of confusion and impulsiveness. Yixing decided when he woke up this morning that Baekhyun has always been the best thing in his life, and he can never risk letting him go. They grew up together, fell in love together, they do everything together. It only makes sense that now, when they’re not together, he has to make Baekhyun know that he only wants him forever. (It doesn’t make sense, really. But Yixing is pretending because today has been a whirlwind of what the hell is happening right now.)

Someone bumps into Yixing’s shoulder, making him stumble out of his thoughts and drop the bouquet on the ground to be trampled on by someone and their suitcase.

“Oh no,” Yixing whines to himself as he picks up the flowers from the ground, stems broken, and petals bruised. He sighs softly and looks over to the screen showing the arrivals. Baekhyun’s plane will land any minute now, but now he’s wondering if the whole proposal idea was a good idea. The flowers he picked out are ruined and none of this was planned at all. Why did he think that this could ever work at all?

Just as Yixing turns to go sit down and wait the remaining few minutes for Baekhyun he bumps into someone and suddenly the entire front of his body is burning. He drops the flowers for a second time and stumbles backwards, scalding hot coffee burning his chest and staining his shirt. “Fuck, fuck!”

“Oh, my god,” he hears the stranger say as they look around for something to soak up the coffee with. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Yixing mutters as he pulls off his coat and pulls at the fabric of his shirt it’s not sticking to his skin anymore. When he looks back up to the board, it shows that Baekhyun’s flight has landed and that he should be coming through the gate at any time. This whole day was definitely an awful idea. This is what he gets for thinking that doing something spontaneous was a good idea. Everything has backfired directly into his face.

The person who spilled the coffee on him has disappeared, obviously not really that sorry at all, so he’s left there drenched in coffee with stained clothes and a ruined bouquet. The proposal can wait, Yixing can’t have so many things go wrong and still try to propose to Baekhyun like this. For all he knows, Baekhyun will say no. That about how things are going right now. Yixing tosses his coat onto a seat and sighs out as he rubs his hands on his face. He doesn’t even have time to go buy an overpriced tourist t-shirt from one of the shops.

Two arms wrap around his middle from behind, squeezing him and making him tense up, ready to push the stranger off. And then he hears Baekhyun’s soft laughter. The hug is gone as soon as it appeared, making Yixing turn around quickly with a pout.

“Why are you all wet?” Baekhyun laughs, looking at his damp arms. “Yixing-ah, don’t look so much like a kicked puppy, you’re going to make me sad.”

Yixing whines again, and it reminds him so much of Baekhyun that it almost scares him. “The last fifteen minutes have been awful, Baekhyun. I’m dying.”

Baekhyun pulls Yixing into a hug, not seeming to care that his shirt is going to get coffee all over it. He rubs Yixing’s back slowly and kisses the side of his head. Baekhyun makes Yixing forget everything, forget that his shirt is ruined, or that the flowers aren’t even worth looking at anymore. Right now, it’s just Yixing and Baekhyun, and Yixing is in love with him and he wants to marry him. He’s going to marry him; shitty day be damned.

“Oh! Yixing, did you get me flowers?” Baekhyun says as he pulls away and moves around Yixing to grab the bouquet wrapped in purple wrapping. The flowers look terribly sad and abused, but Baekhyun smiles at Yixing like they’re the most beautiful things he’s ever seen. That smile will never, ever get old. “I love them. They’re beautiful.”

“I picked them out because they reminded me of you,” Yixing says with a small smile and a shrug. “You know, before they got destroyed by this hellish airport.”

Baekhyun laughs and kisses Yixing quickly, a small moment to show how much he loves him. Yixing has never loved him more. He’s going to, he has to.

“Baekhyunnie,” Yixing starts, pulling Baekhyun’s attention away from the flowers. He tilts his head a little to the left looking a lot like a curious puppy. “I love you so much. You know that. I’ve loved you since I was fifteen years old. I love you just the same ten years later.”

“Oh, Yixing,” Baekhyun says with a wet laugh. “I love you so much, too. Come on, let’s go to your place, alright? Get you cleaned up and we can watch a movie because you’re not going back into work.”

Yixing almost gives in, almost lets Baekhyun lead the way like he does so often because Yixing is never quite sure what to do without him. As he’s grabbing his jacket he looks over at Baekhyun, who is trying to get the flowers to stand back up, smiling at the mess in his hands, Yixing decides that he’s going to stick with his unplanned plan. He’s not going to let mishaps change his mind.

He shoves his hand into his jacket pocket, pulling out the small box that holds the simple silver ring that Yixing know Baekhyun will love. As Yixing gets his hand out of the pocket, the box flies out of his hand, tumbling to the floor and clicking open. The ring bounces out of the box and rattles against the floor, making Yixing cry out and quite literally crawl after it.

Baekhyun’s hand falls over the ring that’s just about to roll under a vending machine and Yixing sighs in relief. This is fine, they still have the ring, he can still propose. Baekhyun is crouched down in front of Yixing who is on his hands and knees in this awful airport staring down at the ring cradled in his hands.

“Yixing… What’s this?” Baekhyun whispers looking between Yixing and the ring like he’s never seen one in his life.

“Baekhyun, I know that I look like a mess, and I _am_ a mess. I smell like coffee and your flowers are destroyed and we’re sitting on the disgusting floor of this airport, what a terrible place to be, right? Truthfully, this is how I feel like whenever I’m not with you. I’m a walking tornado, unable to control what I’m doing ever. But you, you make it so much easier to be me, so much easier to breathe. Baekhyun, I can’t spend another day without you. I know that I’m stubborn and I like to stay home more than not most nights, and that I can be a fun sucker when you want to do something fun. I just am worried that if you leave you might realize that having me is holding you back from all your potential,” Yixing’s words are getting all jumbled together and Baekhyun is looking at him like he can’t understand a single word he’s saying. Yixing trucks on, anyway, because he needs Baekhyun to know. “You make me a better person, having you the last ten years of my life has been the best ten years of my life. I know that I don’t have much to compare it to, but I don’t want to. I just want you. And I’m rambling because I’m a mess but Baekhyun, I love you more than there are stars in the sky or cups of coffee to be spilled on me or broken bouquets or red eye flights to take to see you.”

“Yixing…” Baekhyun whispers, staring at Yixing with his mouth hanging open and hands clutching the ring to his chest. Yixing wants to tell him he’s going to catch a fly.

“I’ve been stuck here for so long for work, and I don’t know how much more either of us can take. How many more flights there are left between us. I can’t go to sleep another night not knowing for certain what our future holds. I just can’t, Baekhyun. This is not how I ever pictured doing this, I wanted it to be perfect for you, I wanted so much more than this airport. But, as long as you’re here, I don’t really care where we are. I just want you by my side, for the rest of our lives. Baekhyun, will you marry me?”

Yixing feels like everything in the airport has become muted, like the world has suddenly fell silent and it’s only Baekhyun, letting Yixing take the ring from his hands to slip on his finger. Only Baekhyun laughing in near disbelief that any of this happening. Only his heart pounding in his ears.

“God, Yixing. How could you ever think that I’d want to be without you? You make _me_ the better person. You make me more rational and grounded. I have never once felt like you were holding me back, you have always pushed me to do things I was too afraid to in the first place. Yixing, I’m not me without you by my side. Yes, I’ll marry you, you idiot,” Baekhyun’s words sound so soft, so full of love that Yixing will never be able to get the sound out of his head. He never wants to, either. Baekhyun grabs him by his face and kisses him, muttering yes, a trillion times yes in every lifetime that they spend together.

Yixing thinks that even if he just gets to know Baekhyun in his next lifetime, that it’ll be okay. That this, right now, is enough to fill him with love for the next seven lifetimes.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this mess, lol. Sorry I've been MIA, I'm going to try to post more stuff this year! I swear lol. Anyway, if you read it all, thank you so much I seriously appreciate every single one of you. I'll try not to be gone for too long next time!
> 
> As always, if you have any questions or just wanna talk you can get ahold of me @tinyieader on twitter.
> 
> Have a good day and ily all!!! - sarah ❤️❤️❤️


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